Rednecks, like most populations, love alcohol.  Alcohol is often offered after work, at barbecues, or anytime after noon on a weekend.    While a variety of drinks have been observed at redneck gatherings, one drink has been accepted as the primary substance for consumption, beer.  All rednecks love beer, especially domestic American beer.  If offered said American brew, such as Coors, Miller, or Budweiser, it is your obligation and privilege to accept.  Special events that always include beer include rivalry games of a favorite team or any fishing event whether for an entire weekend or a few hours.  It is also important to note that the average consumption of beer in a population of rednecks

The redneck "gold standard" for beer

The redneck "gold standard" of beer

nearly triples during any sporting event, most notably footballs games and NASCAR races.  When asked by a redneck what your favorite beer is, responses such as, “Not sure what I like best, Bud or Coors,” or “I love Coors, but there’s nothing better than an ice cold Bud on the lake,” will instantly gain you acceptance, and a free drink.  Even though beer holds a special place in any redneck’s heart, various types of liquor also undergo consumption by rednecks.  Preference varies between populations, but Jagermeister, Southern Comfort, and Wild Turkey seem to be the general favorites.  One can speculate that these brands are favored due to the added familiarities on the labels.  For instance, the deer head on a bottle of Jagermeister or the turkey on a bottle of Wild Turkey can remind a redneck of the lush, wild environments behind their trailer.  In short, all rednecks consume some kind of alcohol, as long as it has some reference to America or nature. 



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One Response to “Alcohol”

  1. Cindy Says:

    Again, I don’t think this one has been updated yet, but your revised version is very funny, especially the line “…enough alcohol to kill a blue whale.” Good work with the revision.

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